Keeping on keeping on

One thing that I really struggle with is keeping up with things that I start. I tend to have grand ideas about how I want to be, things I want to do, things I don't want to do. I resolve to do them but after a few weeks (or a few days) I fall off the wagon. A lot of the time I feel like I end up doing a lot of things, but doing none of them well.  I hate having great intentions but little to no follow through. And even if I do continue to do something, I feel like it is plagued with failure. A big example right now is my training for the Detroit free press half marathon. I signed up back in January with plenty of time to get ready and lose weight and train hard and fundraise for Team World Vision. But I was so inconsistent in the winter and spring and even over the summer. I have come a long way from when I first started training but it still feels like a failure because I feel like I should and could be much more prepared for the race in two weeks.  I didn't eat properly, I skipped tons of runs and strength training days. And to top it all off, until a week or so ago, I hadn't raised any money for the kids in Africa...one of the main reasons that I am actually doing this. Ugh. So frustrated. It is causing me to feel not only mad at myself but stressed when I add it to the list of things that I have to be better at. 

This morning I read a verse that my kids have been memorizing and saying to me almost daily. I've been so focused on them learning it and applying it that I've neglected to look at the verse for myself. 

Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men." 

I've been trying to do the work heartily but my focus has been all wrong. It has been on myself. I am included in the phrase "for men".  My work should be for Lord and with His strength. It is something that I need to remind myself daily. There are so many verses in the bible that talk about remembering and renewing what we've already learned. I think it's because God knows the human heart and how easily we are sidetracked. 

So my prayer for today is that of David's in Psalm 51:10 "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." ...Clean. Renewed. Steadfast. For The Lord. Not for me.